Sunday, November 24, 2013
Scared
I am 5 weeks 3 days pregnant today. I have been constipated and finally, this morning, I felt like my bowel movement was normal like before. Then I noticed a little blood. I wiped again to see if it was blood coming from my vagina. It sure was. I called the doctor, but of course it's Sunday so I have to wait for her to call me back. I am so worried. I have no cramping or pain and I no longer see blood unless I stick a piece of tissue up in my vagina. I hope nothing will happen to the baby. We have our first ultra sound scheduled this coming Wednesday. Please please don't take this baby away from us.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Plan B for Thanksgiving
Last Friday, my HCG was 254 and on Monday, it was 973. According to the nurse, the number is excellent. He is (I have been assuming it will be a boy) about the size of a poppy seed right now.
I was told however that I have to be really closely monitored. Due to my one blocked fallopian tube, I have a high risk of having an ectopic pregnancy. I am supposed to watch out for any severe pain in case that is the case. Fortunately, nothing has been hurting me so far.
For this reason, our trip to Costa Rica over the Thanksgiving had to be canceled. I guess if anything happened while I am there, I will be totally screwed. It is too early to see anything so we won't know weather the baby is in the uterus properly until another few weeks passes.
I cannot complain and we are fine. We've waited for a very long time for this. We don't want to take any chances.
After dinner last night, Tim called American Airline to cancel our flight. Here's what the customer lady told him. "Are you telling me you are canceling your trip just because she is pregnant? You know, we allow pregnant women to fly up to 32 weeks. I was just pregnant and I was fine." I overheard Tim telling her "You don't understand, she is at very high risk and doctor had advised us she should not be flying at this time." I jumped over and made "WTF is she giving you are hard time for??" look.
In the end, we were able to cancel our flight. We had to pay $200 each to cancel $400 a person ticket, so that cost us a ticket. I really think the fees should have been waived given the circumstances. I am going to write a letter to complain about the woman with my doctor's note advising me not to fly. Who is she? Is she a doctor? Does she know our situation? American Airline should speak to its employees about offering advice that should only be coming from a qualified doctor. Unless of course the company rather prefer to be sued.
Anyway, now I'd better come up with plan B. I've been passing by all the turkey sales at grocery stores. I'd better go get one.
I was told however that I have to be really closely monitored. Due to my one blocked fallopian tube, I have a high risk of having an ectopic pregnancy. I am supposed to watch out for any severe pain in case that is the case. Fortunately, nothing has been hurting me so far.
For this reason, our trip to Costa Rica over the Thanksgiving had to be canceled. I guess if anything happened while I am there, I will be totally screwed. It is too early to see anything so we won't know weather the baby is in the uterus properly until another few weeks passes.
I cannot complain and we are fine. We've waited for a very long time for this. We don't want to take any chances.
After dinner last night, Tim called American Airline to cancel our flight. Here's what the customer lady told him. "Are you telling me you are canceling your trip just because she is pregnant? You know, we allow pregnant women to fly up to 32 weeks. I was just pregnant and I was fine." I overheard Tim telling her "You don't understand, she is at very high risk and doctor had advised us she should not be flying at this time." I jumped over and made "WTF is she giving you are hard time for??" look.
In the end, we were able to cancel our flight. We had to pay $200 each to cancel $400 a person ticket, so that cost us a ticket. I really think the fees should have been waived given the circumstances. I am going to write a letter to complain about the woman with my doctor's note advising me not to fly. Who is she? Is she a doctor? Does she know our situation? American Airline should speak to its employees about offering advice that should only be coming from a qualified doctor. Unless of course the company rather prefer to be sued.
Anyway, now I'd better come up with plan B. I've been passing by all the turkey sales at grocery stores. I'd better go get one.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Never say never
It has been four days since last Thursday. I was supposed to get my period. I scheduled my surgery the day before and was still waiting to hear from the hospital find out the patient responsibility. I was googling about IVF overseas while I was at work. I was going to bathroom every so often to see if my period had shown up. I left work around 6 pm, called my mother like I always do on my way home from work while I was driving. I was telling her about what I found out about the IVF clinic in Japan and we talked about how far the clinic was in relation to where my mother lives. While I was still on the phone with her, I stopped at Dollar Tree to buy whole bunch of dollar pregnancy tests. I wanted them so I could just pee on them for shits and giggles. When I got home, I let her go and went to the bathroom.
First, I checked to see if my period showed up. No, not yet. Then I peed in a new red solo cup. Using a little dropper provided, I dropped a couple of drops of my urine on the test strip. I said to myself, "There, feel better. Nothing. It's just my pee moving upward." I put my pants back on, flushed down my pee, washed the cup, and tried to gather the wrapper and the box to clean up. I took one more look at the test just before I grabbed it and I was like "????? What the f***????" There was a very very faint second line on the test!! I still thought that was evaporation line or defective cheap test, but I couldn't help myself. I was getting excited. "Holy S****, Holy S****. Can this really be true???" I wanted to rip open another test and try it, but I was afraid I would be disappointed so I didn't. Tim was home but he was on the phone conducting an important meeting, so when I went in the room, he told me to leave.
I took a picture of the test and texted my friend for her opinion. She responded she saw a very faint one, and told me not to get too excited. We went back and forth and decided it was better to test with more expensive test in the morning.
I called back my mother and told her what was happening. Now, our conversation 20 minutes ago was about going back to Japan for IVF. She was very skeptic. She must have thought her child had lost her damn mind.
Tim finally came out of the meeting and he was asking me what was so important. I showed him the test and he was like "Are you really sure??" I gave him a solo cup and asked him to pee. I said "I wanna know if these tests are defective. If it shows you are pregnant, they are defective. Now pee. Here. All I need is a few drops. Come on, hurry up." Off he went and brought me back a cup full of his urine. "I told you just a few drops, I didn't need a cup full, ugh disgusting." .......I said "Congratulations, Tim, you are not pregnant." We concluded these cheap tests must have been fine.
We still didn't want to be too happy. I think we were too used to being disappointed and couldn't trust what was really happening. We just went out for a dinner and went to bed early.
Friday morning, I woke up around 4:30 am and peed on more expensive pregnancy test. I could see the positive second line appearing as I was peeing. Yes, it was absolutely positive, no doubt about it.
I called my doctor's office and I was told to come in for the blood test. Friday afternoon, the test came back. She said the number read 254 and it was excellent number and I was indeed pregnant. The nurse told me that she would call and cancel my surgery. She told me to come in Monday again for the blood test again.
As I write this, I still can't believe it. I still don't feel pregnant at all. I thought nothing was happening this month and nothing was going to happen until the surgery. It is crazy, but it really is happening.
First, I checked to see if my period showed up. No, not yet. Then I peed in a new red solo cup. Using a little dropper provided, I dropped a couple of drops of my urine on the test strip. I said to myself, "There, feel better. Nothing. It's just my pee moving upward." I put my pants back on, flushed down my pee, washed the cup, and tried to gather the wrapper and the box to clean up. I took one more look at the test just before I grabbed it and I was like "????? What the f***????" There was a very very faint second line on the test!! I still thought that was evaporation line or defective cheap test, but I couldn't help myself. I was getting excited. "Holy S****, Holy S****. Can this really be true???" I wanted to rip open another test and try it, but I was afraid I would be disappointed so I didn't. Tim was home but he was on the phone conducting an important meeting, so when I went in the room, he told me to leave.
I took a picture of the test and texted my friend for her opinion. She responded she saw a very faint one, and told me not to get too excited. We went back and forth and decided it was better to test with more expensive test in the morning.
I called back my mother and told her what was happening. Now, our conversation 20 minutes ago was about going back to Japan for IVF. She was very skeptic. She must have thought her child had lost her damn mind.
Tim finally came out of the meeting and he was asking me what was so important. I showed him the test and he was like "Are you really sure??" I gave him a solo cup and asked him to pee. I said "I wanna know if these tests are defective. If it shows you are pregnant, they are defective. Now pee. Here. All I need is a few drops. Come on, hurry up." Off he went and brought me back a cup full of his urine. "I told you just a few drops, I didn't need a cup full, ugh disgusting." .......I said "Congratulations, Tim, you are not pregnant." We concluded these cheap tests must have been fine.
We still didn't want to be too happy. I think we were too used to being disappointed and couldn't trust what was really happening. We just went out for a dinner and went to bed early.
Friday morning, I woke up around 4:30 am and peed on more expensive pregnancy test. I could see the positive second line appearing as I was peeing. Yes, it was absolutely positive, no doubt about it.
I called my doctor's office and I was told to come in for the blood test. Friday afternoon, the test came back. She said the number read 254 and it was excellent number and I was indeed pregnant. The nurse told me that she would call and cancel my surgery. She told me to come in Monday again for the blood test again.
As I write this, I still can't believe it. I still don't feel pregnant at all. I thought nothing was happening this month and nothing was going to happen until the surgery. It is crazy, but it really is happening.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Contradiction
Scheduling lady from RE office called me this afternoon to schedule my surgery. Tim and I decided to go through both hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. Doctor told me that laparoscopy would not be needed if I was just going to do IVF, but I am not ready to consider that yet. My surgery is scheduled on 12/10. I will be going to do my pre-ops on 12/6, the day after we come back from Costa Rica. I was told to use contraceptions and try not to become pregnant until then. I understand where she is coming from, but it's ironic. I am in this predicament because of my inability to become pregnant.
As of today, my period still hasn't come. It should arrive tomorrow. I just know it. If for some crazy miracle it didn't come and I turned out to be pregnant, screw surgery. I'd worry about that damn polyp and tube later. My CPA exam is creeping up. I now have less than two weeks to study. I haven't been able to really concentrate on my studying at all. I'll just take it and see what happens. If I pass, it better not be taken as my karmic retribution.
I went ahead and called IVF clinic in Osaka, Japan, my home town. The price sheet was for uninsured, but still was 1/3 of the price here. The lady said that if I could get all my testing done in the US, I needed to be there for my first visit and consultation with my test results, then come back right around my ovulation time. I thanked her and said I'd call her back when I need to cross that bridge. I wanted to go home to see my mom and the rest of my family anyway. I think my work will be understandable. After all, isn't that FMLA? Considering I will be out for three months after giving birth, if I took off for a few months, it can not be that big of a deal. Tim can work from anywhere. Besides, he lived in Japan for 15 years, so he will probably feel right at home. He is more Japanese than me anyway. Given the circumstances, I think my work will let me work remotely for some portion.
I am getting excited about our possible extra vacation / IVF. I did my research today and it is cheaper ANYWHERE else outside of the US. If Japan is not feasible, there's Canada, Mexico, Singapore, Thailand, India... the possibility is endless.
As of today, my period still hasn't come. It should arrive tomorrow. I just know it. If for some crazy miracle it didn't come and I turned out to be pregnant, screw surgery. I'd worry about that damn polyp and tube later. My CPA exam is creeping up. I now have less than two weeks to study. I haven't been able to really concentrate on my studying at all. I'll just take it and see what happens. If I pass, it better not be taken as my karmic retribution.
I went ahead and called IVF clinic in Osaka, Japan, my home town. The price sheet was for uninsured, but still was 1/3 of the price here. The lady said that if I could get all my testing done in the US, I needed to be there for my first visit and consultation with my test results, then come back right around my ovulation time. I thanked her and said I'd call her back when I need to cross that bridge. I wanted to go home to see my mom and the rest of my family anyway. I think my work will be understandable. After all, isn't that FMLA? Considering I will be out for three months after giving birth, if I took off for a few months, it can not be that big of a deal. Tim can work from anywhere. Besides, he lived in Japan for 15 years, so he will probably feel right at home. He is more Japanese than me anyway. Given the circumstances, I think my work will let me work remotely for some portion.
I am getting excited about our possible extra vacation / IVF. I did my research today and it is cheaper ANYWHERE else outside of the US. If Japan is not feasible, there's Canada, Mexico, Singapore, Thailand, India... the possibility is endless.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Egg inventory level and batch size
We went to see our RE this morning to go over all our test results and her recommendations.
Tim - Super. Although he was told to really stop smoking cigarettes (no social smoking) to improve the quality of his boys.
Me... All 13 of my genetic testings came back negative. No disease whatsoever. Every other numbers were in normal range, except my Antral Follicle Count. It was 5. Adhesion in my one Fallopian tube. Polyp in my uterus. So I am wondering, my AMH test showed normal, and that means I have good enough amount of egg inventory. But low antral follicle count means that any given month, I only have a small batch of eggs that are put out to become a mature egg. Don't I only need one egg? Does it really matter how many are put out every month? So what my body is a bit stingy.
First mandatory procedure I have to go through is Hysteroscopy to remove the polyp. She said at the same time, she could to Laparoscopy to try to open my tube.
That being said, my RE told us her concern is my low Antral Follicle Count of 5. She said that makes her lean toward more "aggressive method." By aggressive, she meant IVF. She said if IVF was possibility, I won't need my tube and I won't be needing to do Laparoscopy. All I could think was there's no way I could afford it. Neither of our insurance covers such a thing.
I am glad Tim came with me, because he was asking her all kinds of questions while I really couldn't. He asked her to repeat my Antral Follicle Count in case the ultra sound technician made a mistake. He asked her how could everything else be in normal range and this one thing is way off from the normal range. Tim is Business Analyst and this was where his personality traits really came in handy.
We decided that we'd schedule both Lparoscopy and Hysteroscopy and see what happens. I've already matched my deductible for the year, so it is essential I schedule this before the year ends. Since we are planning on going to Costa Rica for a week in Thanksgiving, the surgery will have to be after that.
On the way home, I said to Tim "Hey, do you think this is just the beginning of a crazy long road? You were freaking out when I first said I wanted to have a baby. You were saying you weren't ready. Did you think it will be this hard? Are you ready now?"
Tim - Super. Although he was told to really stop smoking cigarettes (no social smoking) to improve the quality of his boys.
Me... All 13 of my genetic testings came back negative. No disease whatsoever. Every other numbers were in normal range, except my Antral Follicle Count. It was 5. Adhesion in my one Fallopian tube. Polyp in my uterus. So I am wondering, my AMH test showed normal, and that means I have good enough amount of egg inventory. But low antral follicle count means that any given month, I only have a small batch of eggs that are put out to become a mature egg. Don't I only need one egg? Does it really matter how many are put out every month? So what my body is a bit stingy.
First mandatory procedure I have to go through is Hysteroscopy to remove the polyp. She said at the same time, she could to Laparoscopy to try to open my tube.
That being said, my RE told us her concern is my low Antral Follicle Count of 5. She said that makes her lean toward more "aggressive method." By aggressive, she meant IVF. She said if IVF was possibility, I won't need my tube and I won't be needing to do Laparoscopy. All I could think was there's no way I could afford it. Neither of our insurance covers such a thing.
I am glad Tim came with me, because he was asking her all kinds of questions while I really couldn't. He asked her to repeat my Antral Follicle Count in case the ultra sound technician made a mistake. He asked her how could everything else be in normal range and this one thing is way off from the normal range. Tim is Business Analyst and this was where his personality traits really came in handy.
We decided that we'd schedule both Lparoscopy and Hysteroscopy and see what happens. I've already matched my deductible for the year, so it is essential I schedule this before the year ends. Since we are planning on going to Costa Rica for a week in Thanksgiving, the surgery will have to be after that.
On the way home, I said to Tim "Hey, do you think this is just the beginning of a crazy long road? You were freaking out when I first said I wanted to have a baby. You were saying you weren't ready. Did you think it will be this hard? Are you ready now?"
Sunday, November 10, 2013
3 days weekend
I am glad I am off tomorrow for Veteran's day. That's one of the benefits of working for a government... :)
My period must be coming in a few days, my appetite has increased and I have been eating like a hog.
I cooked up some liver for our dinner. Tim likes it, too. Then again, there's not many things Tim wouldn't eat. I never really hated liver. My mother fed me and my brother liver before anybody else had a chance to tell us we were supposed to hate liver. Not that I particularly liked it, but I didn't really have any opinions about it. To me, it was just another meat. Lately though, I really appreciate the sweetness of the liver. The thing is, you cannot take liver, cook it like you'd cook a piece of steak and expect it to be any good. You need to put the right sauce and spices. It's so cheap plus is packed with so much nutrition. I will be bleeding out in a few days so I might as well prepare myself by eating iron and vitamin B12 packed deliciousness.
I ate, studied a little, took a nap, ate, studied a little, took a nap, and repeated the process all day. Classic PMS symptoms. Ughhh. It's hot here today, too. Sleepy, feeling hot, sore boobs... I wish all these things were the early pregnancy signs, but no such luck.
I talked to my best friend in Japan from high school last night. She just had a baby and he is 4 months old. Unlike some other people I know, she is very appreciative about the whole things. It's not that she struggled to get pregnant, but she just doesn't go around and complain about everything like others. I think what gets on my nerves about certain mothers are their ungratefulness. Even after knowing our situations, she doesn't try to offer me some advice or act like a know it all. She certainly does not tell me "to relax." "Just relax, and it will happen. Stop counting days and checking for your ovulation. You can't get pregnant because you are trying so hard and stressing yourself out" This is a sure way to piss me off. How can people be so f**ing ignorant. Infertility is a disease. Just like a person with a heart condition or cancer. I dare them to go up to a cancer patient and say "Just relax and you'll be cured. You know why you got cancer, because you are always stressed out." I said this to ones who told me to relax. Most people understand if I put it like that, but it's sad to say some laughs and says I am being oversensitive and my problem is not as serious like cancer. F**** them.
I just filled out adoption form for two dachshunds who are given up because the owner is having a human baby. I don't know the circumstances so I cannot judge, but I would take them both. I hope I get them as an addition to our family. Tim is wondering I could be pregnant. Speaking of, I did try and go get pet rabbit when I was pregnant long time ago... If this is happening to me again this time, I will be so happy. Although I doubt it. I just love dachshund and I am in a position to care for them.
My period must be coming in a few days, my appetite has increased and I have been eating like a hog.
I cooked up some liver for our dinner. Tim likes it, too. Then again, there's not many things Tim wouldn't eat. I never really hated liver. My mother fed me and my brother liver before anybody else had a chance to tell us we were supposed to hate liver. Not that I particularly liked it, but I didn't really have any opinions about it. To me, it was just another meat. Lately though, I really appreciate the sweetness of the liver. The thing is, you cannot take liver, cook it like you'd cook a piece of steak and expect it to be any good. You need to put the right sauce and spices. It's so cheap plus is packed with so much nutrition. I will be bleeding out in a few days so I might as well prepare myself by eating iron and vitamin B12 packed deliciousness.
I ate, studied a little, took a nap, ate, studied a little, took a nap, and repeated the process all day. Classic PMS symptoms. Ughhh. It's hot here today, too. Sleepy, feeling hot, sore boobs... I wish all these things were the early pregnancy signs, but no such luck.
I talked to my best friend in Japan from high school last night. She just had a baby and he is 4 months old. Unlike some other people I know, she is very appreciative about the whole things. It's not that she struggled to get pregnant, but she just doesn't go around and complain about everything like others. I think what gets on my nerves about certain mothers are their ungratefulness. Even after knowing our situations, she doesn't try to offer me some advice or act like a know it all. She certainly does not tell me "to relax." "Just relax, and it will happen. Stop counting days and checking for your ovulation. You can't get pregnant because you are trying so hard and stressing yourself out" This is a sure way to piss me off. How can people be so f**ing ignorant. Infertility is a disease. Just like a person with a heart condition or cancer. I dare them to go up to a cancer patient and say "Just relax and you'll be cured. You know why you got cancer, because you are always stressed out." I said this to ones who told me to relax. Most people understand if I put it like that, but it's sad to say some laughs and says I am being oversensitive and my problem is not as serious like cancer. F**** them.
I just filled out adoption form for two dachshunds who are given up because the owner is having a human baby. I don't know the circumstances so I cannot judge, but I would take them both. I hope I get them as an addition to our family. Tim is wondering I could be pregnant. Speaking of, I did try and go get pet rabbit when I was pregnant long time ago... If this is happening to me again this time, I will be so happy. Although I doubt it. I just love dachshund and I am in a position to care for them.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Not Again
20 days since my period. I knew this month was going to be a wash. Yes, one of my tubes was not clear, and there was a polyp. That probably explained why we haven't been successful so until my RE goes over all of our test results and talks to us about our new game plan, I was not going to worry about it. She would probably suggest me removing the polyp. That should be scheduled sometimes during my next cycle. Yes, so don't worry about it and forget about this TTC bullshit and relax for a change. Study for CPA exam, work out like crazy, have some wine. Just RELAX, and have sex just to enjoy, not as a chore. Ahahahahahhahaha!!!! Who was I kidding? Once you go TTC, you don't come back!!! I've been thinking like "maybe I am pregnant this month because I wasn't expecting," or "maybe that HSG actually cleared up my tube and that might have done the trick." "What if my RE said she would schedule to have polyp remove and I was pregnant.Would that hurt the baby? "
The pregnant girl at work is looking more and more pregnant by day. Yesterday, we had our boss's surprise lunch party, and the pregnant girl was saying she could feel her baby kicking. Everyone else was chiming in to talk about their pregnancy stories. Wonderful, I had nothing to offer to the story. Guess what. She is fat. She shouldn't be showing that much when she is not due until March. Wow, I will not be fat like her, or all of these mothers at this table. I work out and am in great shape. I will be working out, I will not let nausea stop me from going to the gym. Wait until I am pregnant and have a baby, I will not be struggling to lose baby weight like all these people at this table are struggling. I will not have big saggy belly and saggy ass and blame it on my pregnancy. I will be one of these people you just wonder how I just had a baby. Watch me. I smiled and listened and told above things to make myself feel better, but it didn't really help at all. Instead, it disgusted me that I was capable of thinking these mean things in my head. The truth is I'd rather be fat and uncomfortable and puking my guts out if that means I am pregnant.
My boobs are getting sore and Tim is getting on my nerves. Oh yes, the signs of PMS. Get ready. Sorry, Tim.... I will be taking my frustrations out on you. :( It's funny how every PMS symptoms are interpreted as possible early pregnancy signs when you are TTC.....
The pregnant girl at work is looking more and more pregnant by day. Yesterday, we had our boss's surprise lunch party, and the pregnant girl was saying she could feel her baby kicking. Everyone else was chiming in to talk about their pregnancy stories. Wonderful, I had nothing to offer to the story. Guess what. She is fat. She shouldn't be showing that much when she is not due until March. Wow, I will not be fat like her, or all of these mothers at this table. I work out and am in great shape. I will be working out, I will not let nausea stop me from going to the gym. Wait until I am pregnant and have a baby, I will not be struggling to lose baby weight like all these people at this table are struggling. I will not have big saggy belly and saggy ass and blame it on my pregnancy. I will be one of these people you just wonder how I just had a baby. Watch me. I smiled and listened and told above things to make myself feel better, but it didn't really help at all. Instead, it disgusted me that I was capable of thinking these mean things in my head. The truth is I'd rather be fat and uncomfortable and puking my guts out if that means I am pregnant.
My boobs are getting sore and Tim is getting on my nerves. Oh yes, the signs of PMS. Get ready. Sorry, Tim.... I will be taking my frustrations out on you. :( It's funny how every PMS symptoms are interpreted as possible early pregnancy signs when you are TTC.....
Monday, November 4, 2013
Baby Boom
Everywhere is baby boom. So this morning, I get a text from my old coworker who is expecting. She wanted my address so the baby shower invitation can get sent out. Great. I wonder if I can go through with it. Another baby shower.... I am sure I will be asked when I will be getting pregnant. Yeah, I want to know that, too. Call me party pooper, but I will probably buy a gift and let someone take it to her.
This afternoon was my dentist appointment, which I almost forgot all about. When I saw the reminder popping up on my calendar, I had to wonder if I made that up. Seriously, time has passed by so fast, I couldn't believe it. When my hygienist asked me if I were taking any medications, vitamins, or supplements, I said no. I stopped writing down "prenatal vitamin" on the form, because quite frankly, it has become embarrassing. Yeah yeah, taking all these prenatal vitamins month after month and still nothing to show for. I'm sure she doesn't even remember I wrote "prenatal" in the past, but I remember. She told me she might not see me for my next appointment. When I asked her if she was looking for another job, she told me she was going on a maternity leave in a few months. She didn't even look all that pregnant. Ah how I envy her. There are pictures of her daughter on the wall. She is having a boy. One of each. How nice. At this point, I don't even care if I get a boy or girl. I just want a baby. I've always wanted a boy who looks like Tim. Now, I don't care. God, please just give me one already. The rate the God is delivering babies left and right to all these people, it shouldn't be so damn difficult...
Dear God,
I am trying to follow up in regards to my previous baby request. I understand you are busy, but if you could be so kind and take a moment and take a look at our request, we would really appreciate it. If you need anything from us to help expedite the process, that would just be wonderful.
This afternoon was my dentist appointment, which I almost forgot all about. When I saw the reminder popping up on my calendar, I had to wonder if I made that up. Seriously, time has passed by so fast, I couldn't believe it. When my hygienist asked me if I were taking any medications, vitamins, or supplements, I said no. I stopped writing down "prenatal vitamin" on the form, because quite frankly, it has become embarrassing. Yeah yeah, taking all these prenatal vitamins month after month and still nothing to show for. I'm sure she doesn't even remember I wrote "prenatal" in the past, but I remember. She told me she might not see me for my next appointment. When I asked her if she was looking for another job, she told me she was going on a maternity leave in a few months. She didn't even look all that pregnant. Ah how I envy her. There are pictures of her daughter on the wall. She is having a boy. One of each. How nice. At this point, I don't even care if I get a boy or girl. I just want a baby. I've always wanted a boy who looks like Tim. Now, I don't care. God, please just give me one already. The rate the God is delivering babies left and right to all these people, it shouldn't be so damn difficult...
Dear God,
I am trying to follow up in regards to my previous baby request. I understand you are busy, but if you could be so kind and take a moment and take a look at our request, we would really appreciate it. If you need anything from us to help expedite the process, that would just be wonderful.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Fall Back
Fall back one hour is nice for the first few days, I guess. I wish they leave the time alone and do away with the daylight saving stuff. It gets dark early and makes me depressed.
I can't believe it's Holiday season once again. Last year around this time, my body did some crazy tricks on me and I didn't have my period for almost two months. I kept on peeing on the damn pregnancy tests, googling about people who had negative tests but ended up pregnant. No such luck. My OB/GYN told me at that time suggested taking birth control pills to induce period, but I couldn't let go of the possibility of still being pregnant. She said to wait for either I get period or become pregnant until February. I felt waiting until February was unreasonably long and didn't go back to her after. I never thought I'd be still waiting to get pregnant then.
I can't believe it's Holiday season once again. Last year around this time, my body did some crazy tricks on me and I didn't have my period for almost two months. I kept on peeing on the damn pregnancy tests, googling about people who had negative tests but ended up pregnant. No such luck. My OB/GYN told me at that time suggested taking birth control pills to induce period, but I couldn't let go of the possibility of still being pregnant. She said to wait for either I get period or become pregnant until February. I felt waiting until February was unreasonably long and didn't go back to her after. I never thought I'd be still waiting to get pregnant then.
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