Never say never

It has been four days since last Thursday.  I was supposed to get my period.  I scheduled my surgery the day before and was still waiting to hear from the hospital find out the patient responsibility.  I was googling about IVF overseas while I was at work.  I was going to bathroom every so often to see if my period had shown up.  I left work around 6 pm, called my mother like I always do on my way home from work while I was driving.  I was telling her about what I found out about the IVF clinic in Japan and we talked about how far the clinic was in relation to where my mother lives.  While I was still on the phone with her, I stopped at Dollar Tree to buy whole bunch of dollar pregnancy tests. I wanted them so I could just pee on them for shits and giggles.  When I got home, I let her go and went to the bathroom.

First, I checked to see if my period showed up.  No, not yet. Then I peed in a new red solo cup.  Using a little dropper provided, I dropped a couple of drops of my urine on the test strip.  I said to myself, "There, feel better.  Nothing.  It's just my pee moving upward."  I put my pants back on, flushed down my pee, washed the cup, and tried to gather the wrapper and the box to clean up.  I took  one more look at the test just before I grabbed it and I was like "?????  What the f***????"  There was a very very faint second line on the test!!  I still thought that was evaporation line or defective cheap test, but I couldn't help myself.  I was getting excited.  "Holy S****, Holy S****. Can this really be true???"   I wanted to rip open another test and try it, but I was afraid I would be disappointed so I didn't.  Tim was home but he was on the phone conducting an important meeting, so when I went in the room, he told me to leave.

I took a picture of the test and texted my friend for her opinion.  She responded she saw a very faint one, and told me not to get too excited.  We went back and forth and decided it was better to test with more expensive test in the morning.

I called back my mother and told her what was happening.  Now, our conversation 20 minutes ago was about going back to Japan for IVF.  She was very skeptic.  She must have thought her child had lost her damn mind.

Tim finally came out of the meeting and he was asking me what was so important.  I showed him the test and he was like "Are you really sure??"  I gave him a solo cup and asked him to pee.  I said "I wanna know if these tests are defective.  If it shows you are pregnant, they are defective.  Now pee.  Here. All I need is a few drops. Come on, hurry up."  Off he went and brought me back a cup full of his urine.  "I told you just a few drops, I didn't need a cup full, ugh disgusting." .......I said  "Congratulations, Tim, you are not pregnant."  We concluded these cheap tests must have been fine.

We still didn't want to be too happy.  I think we were too used to being disappointed and couldn't trust what was really happening.  We just went out for a dinner and went to bed early.

Friday morning, I woke up around 4:30 am and peed on more expensive pregnancy test.  I could see the positive second line appearing as I was peeing.  Yes, it was absolutely positive, no doubt about it.

I called my doctor's office and I was told to come in for the blood test.  Friday afternoon, the test came back.  She said the number read 254 and it was excellent number and I was indeed pregnant.  The nurse told me that she would call and cancel my surgery.  She told me to come in Monday again for the blood test again.

As I write this, I still can't believe it.  I still don't feel pregnant at all.  I thought nothing was happening this month and nothing was going to happen until the surgery.  It is crazy, but it really is happening.