Being my own advocate is something I am having to learn after being in the US. I moved here from Japan when I was 19 and have lived here almost half of my life and I still have a hard time doing this. Slowly but surely, I know I have learned how. When I go back to Japan, people tell me I am too abrasive. I'd like to say that I had to be this way to survive in this country. But let me say that this abrasive person in Japan is still considered to be a very meek mannered Asian in this country. The art of dancing around, reading each other's mind, that kind of things don't exist here. You'd better speak up or you won't get anything.
When I speak to my mother or my friends in Japan, it reminds me how I used to believe what doctor said was sort of absolute. They are the ones who know the best. Their best interest is your well beings. That's how it is in Japan. Hahaha!! Not here. I wish I could be that naive again. They might know better, but they might not. They might very well have their own agenda. They can care less about me when they have to worry about their malpractice insurance and all the other stuff.
I wish I was pushing to get tested when my OB/GYN told me I should wait for at least 6 months to see if I could get pregnant naturally. I knew then something wasn't right already. I just knew after a few months of trying. After Tim's sperm analysis came back fine, I was even more sure that something was wrong with me. Why did I wait again to see if I would get pregnant in 4-5 months after that before I went to see my RE for a full blown exam? I knew there was something, but yet, I listened to my doctor. Actually, she didn't even refer me to the RE until I mentioned to her "hey, I waited, now what?" As a matter of fact, she asked me if I had the same sex partner when I went in for my annual pap smear. She then looked at my chart and was like "Sorry, I see you are trying to conceive here.." Is she fucking kidding me???
In my earlier post, I was wondering if I should cancel my next Monday appointment. I don't think I should. I think I should see her and ask her to find our for sure there's no adhesion. She may not want to believe Asherman's Syndrome is to be so common. She may not want to feel like she is responsible if that happened after she performed D&C on me. But I know I ovulated. and I know I ovulated, but yet I had no period. I am going to insist her to investigate further. If she turned out she was right and it was just my body not being ready, big deal. I'd rather her be right. BUT I DO NOT want to waste any more time!!! Why wait three or more months, trying this and that when it can be so simple as her to perform hysteroscopy in the first place.
Why should I worry if I am asking too many questions. She is getting paid well enough.
I say go see her Monday and ask the questions. You are paying her enough money and should get your money's worth. I always feel nervous at first b/c I really like my RE and don't want to insult him with my questions but I always feel better afterwards (especially, the time he called me!). It might be time to think about a new RE too. It sounds like this one doesn't have very good bed side manners and makes you feel worse about yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that she is rude. I feel like she doesn't really care or she is just not very personable. I think if I were to find a new RE, I'd choose a male doctor. I think they are more patient. I cancelled my Monday appointment. I figured if I get my period, I'll be able to schedule for U/S. If not, then I will be making an appointment to talk about my next step. I know I will be told to wait and see how I do with provera if I showed up to see her on Monday anyway.
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