I like Heather the nurse at my RE's office. She was the one who spoke to me and took my blood when I first found out I was pregnant. I remember her calling to tell me my number was excellent. I remember her telling me not to worry because she will cancel my surgery. I think there are several other nurses there, but she is the nicest. I just ask to speak to her when I call these days. If I simply ask for nurse, there's no telling who I will get. I also think this not so friendly receptionist is on vacation or something, because the last few times I called, I have been getting a nice one. For example, last week, when I first decided to call my RE's office, this not so friendly one answered and when I told her I needed to make an appointment with my doctor, she just said "for what do you need to see her?" I said, "well, I had my D&C in December and I haven't had my period." She just said "Oh you need to do a follow up then." I was thinking "Not exactly, because I did have my follow up..." After she went ahead and booked my appointment, I told her I'd like to ask a nurse's opinion, because she might have something else to say before I go through with the appointment I just made. She told me to hold on and put me straight to the voice mail. Now with the nicer receptionist, it went a little differently. You see, when I made my appointment with the mean one, I was flustered and didn't write down the exact time. So I called back and the nice one answered. After she told me my appointment time and told her I wanted to speak to Heather the nurse, she put me on hold and went to look for her. Anyway, she found out Heather didn't have a chance to speak to the doctor yet, but she told me she would have her call me as soon as she knows what is up.
So this afternoon, Heather called me and said she spoke to my doctor. My doctor wants me to come in for blood pregnancy test. Bwahahaha!!! What pregnancy test? I know I am not pregnant and that's why I am having a hard time! She said once she confirms it is negative, then she will prescribe me provera to start my period. She will be able to do my blood test tomorrow so I will be there first thing in the morning. It will be messed up if that blood test shows up I am pregnant. I know I am not. I asked her if I should just cancel my appointment with my doctor on Monday but she said it was up to me. A part of me feels like there's no point in going to see my doctor at this point. It is the new year so I know with my high deductible health insurance, my visit will not be cheap. Another part of me thinks so what I get pills to induce my period. If thickening of my uterine lining and occlusion is the issue, it won't matter what she gives me, nothing will shed, meaning I won't get period. Even if I did get my period, what if it doesn't come again next month, doesn't just mean I just bought some time and not really figuring out the root cause of my issue?
I hope when I go to get my blood test, Heather will be there. I really don't like other nurses. They are not mean, but they are not extra nice. I think I am already in emotionally fragile status when I go there, feeling very insecure, I need to be treated with extra care. If I had a choice, I don't even want to be there in the first place. I'd rather be getting pregnant in no time and go to a regular OB/GYN like normal people. I'd rather be ignorant and optimistic like normal people. I prefer not having to go see a RE who will always prepare you for the worst case scenario. Well, that ship has sailed a long long time ago for me. I will never be able to be optimistic even if I get pregnant again. I will always feel like it will be yanked away without any notice.
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